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So somebody decided that a truck full of the world’s most iconic chocolate bar was simply too good an opportunity to pass up, and honestly, fair enough. We’re not here to judge the ethics. We’re here because the moment this story hit the internet, it stopped being a crime and started being a cultural event. A whole shipment of KitKats, vanished. Gone. Snapped, you might say, right in half.
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The brands showed up fast, because of course they did. KitKat’s social team handled it with the kind of calm, very vague response that makes you irrationally respect a chocolate corporation. Other brands crashed the thread like they’d been waiting their whole lives for this exact moment, which, to be fair, they probably had. It was chaotic. It was corporate. It was weirdly entertaining. But the brands were background noise.
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There were Breaking Bad memes, Money Heist memes, video game references The real story was the Sopranos fans.
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Cuz listen to me, within about forty five minutes of the news breaking, the internet had collectively decided that this was not some random stick-up from some mook. This was personal. This was Jersey. The memes came in waves, each one more confident than the last, all pointing to the same conclusion: one of the crew did it. Paulie with the Jersey attitude and the hair. Christopher with the impulse control and the habit of messing everything up. Tony with the fuggedaboutit entitlement and the panic attacks. The evidence presented was mostly vibes, character traits, gabagool breath, and that perfect sense of familiarity that only comes from rewatching the same show too many times while eating capicola. Legal experts have weighed in and the case is, at this point, airtight.
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So scroll through the best tweets and memes the internet had to offer, including brand chaos, Sopranos courtroom evidence, and at least one company that is genuinely, unironically, trying to solve this thing.
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